Lessons for Dad

In the span of an hour while Jenny was out shopping with Eli for a birthday gift for his best friend, I learned two things:
1. A toilet that markets itself as able to flush a dozen golf balls can not flush a 2/3 used roll of toilet paper still on the cardboard roll (thanks, Liam)
2. A four-year old who hasn't peed in several hours jumping on the couch is bound to have an accident...on the couch (thanks, Nate)

Yesterday I ran outside for the first time since the Chief Joseph run last summer. I'm ok running mile after mile on the treadmill, and decided it was time to run outside at least once a week to start acclimating for the half-marathon. OUCH! I ran three miles, and I'm totally feeling it today in places I forgot I had. Guess that tells me that you can't rely on one form of exercise. I still prefer the treadmill because I don't have to concentrate so much on pace, and I can watch TV and not feel bad since I'm not lazing around doing so. The park by our house has a 1/2 mile paved path around it, so that's good for keeping track of distance, but it might get old seeing the same thing over and over. So, I'm going to have to measure some of the streets around to get longer and longer courses since I'll probably make my Saturday morning run an outdoors one. I think that's what most of the training guides say anyway, to make Saturday the run that increases in one mile increments each week.

What does retirement really cost a company?

Today at 12:30 I attended a retirement reception for a woman who was retiring after 31 years with the company. The sidebar conversations I overheard consisted of "remember whens" and "I'll trade you places." The cake was ok, a bit dry, but good frosting. At 12:29, my overall attitude was "good for her, hope I get a corner piece of cake, I'm looking forward to working on that ad this afternoon." Then, it happened. I returned to my desk where an afternoon of genuinely enjoyable tasks awaited me, but I'd gone through a subliminal change of attitude. Now I no longer had motivation to work because I realized I have 24 years and 10 months before I get a retirement party. I was not productive; I was spent.

I thought about it, and I wonder how much those sentimental 20 minute retirement receptions cost companies each year. They spend $25 on a cake, maybe a plaque, and then there's always the office pool to buy gag gifts (the lady today got a rain gauge because she was always talking about the only people who check rainfall are old retired people). This is what my research found:

• average number of retirement receptions each year per company (A): 4
• average number of employees who attend a retirement reception while at work per company (based on my own experience) (B): 40
• average American hourly wage (C): $23
• number of hours spent in unproductivity after mid-day retirement receptions (D): 4
• money lost by the average American company due to retirement receptions (E): $14,720
• methodology: A*(B*(C*D))=E

$14,720. And that's just one company. I don't know about you, but THAT'S CRAZY! Most companies probably think a cheap, dry cake and a plaque is all it costs them to get someone out the door for good. Think again. I think now there are two things that should only be given at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon: pink slips and retirement receptions.

Girl troubles

Mr. Cool is having...girl troubles. He's been talking about a girl in his class a lot this year, and we've suspected a crush, but this week it's come to light. After school one day, he came to Jenny and said there was a "situation at school" he needed to talk to her about. The next day, he came to me saying the same thing. He admitted that he does, indeed, have a crush on her. As if an innocent crush weren't enough, the school nurse called Jen today to say that Eli had gotten hurt at recess. He had a huge knot on his head and had twisted his ankle. How, you ask? Several girls were chasing him and he, not watching where he was running, ran smack dab into a pole. Love hurts.

My first crush was on a classmate named Melissa somethingorother. It was first grade at Sacred Heart Elementary School in New Mexico. She had red hair and was a totally hottie. She looked just like Melissa Gilbert who played Laura on Little House on the Prairie (which, looking back, was like Survivor for the 80's).

I remember when I was in school that you got one picture a year...one. Now they take a regular school picture, then a class picture, and finally a "Senior picture"-type photo. We were really surprised this week when he brought them home how good they turned out. They cost $12 a sheet. So, we coughed it up and bought one sheet even though I was firm that we shouldn't spend that kind of money for one picture, that it was setting a standard we'd have to keep for the other boys, but I gave in.

21 Days

They say it takes 21 consecutive days of doing something to make it a habit. So far I've got down teeth brushing, eating and going to work. Habit, habit, habit. Jenny thought we needed a new habit to work on...together. How sweet. Her idea? "Let's get up at 5:30am every morning and exercise before the kids get up and then we dont' have to argue over who's going to exercise while the other puts the kids to bed at night." Great. We completed day two this morning, alternating one on the treadmill and the other doing a workout video of his/her choice. Feels good, but I wish we could make a new rule that says after two days of doing something faithfully you could just leave it at that, and sleep later.

Random thought: what's the deal-e-o with guest towels? We spent lots of money to get nice towels a year ago (good purchase, indeed) - half are blue and half are white. We get to use the white ones (maybe not such a good idea with three dirty boys), and the blue ones are..."just for show, and for company." Well, I've alread seen them, and we rarely have company, so why should I get in trouble for using them when there's not a white one hanging up?