Save the Family
The family is under attack in today's society from things like greed, selfishness and glitter. Yea, you heard me.. glitter. We have three rules in our home.
1. Love One Another
2. No glitter
3. NO GLITTER
We have found that the spirit in our home changes when anyone in the family breaks one of these three rules. Rule #1 is based on the scriptures and the Golden Rule. Rule #2 came into being a few days after we were married. Jenny and her friend were crafting in our apartment...with glitter. After being told by several people for days following that "dude, you've got glitter or something on your cheek," I instituted a no-glitter policy for the duration of our earthly life together. Rule #3 came into effect after the aforementioned "friend" heard about how her craft project had caused Rule #2 to come into place, and thought it would be funny to send me a birthday card filled with ... glitter. Being excited that I'd gotten a birthday card in the mail, and hoping it contained cash, I hurriedly opened the envelope and whipped the card out, causing millions of glitter particles to sprinkle their evil influence once again around our apartment. I know what you're thinking...what's the difference in Rule #2 and Rule #3? Rule #3 is in ALL CAPS to serve as a bold reminder for all who may not grasp the seriousness of Rule #2.
That brings me to today. I awoke to Eli proclaiming to Jenny and I who were still asleep on this beautiful Sunday morning that Liam had just spilled the glitter in the hall. WHAT? Don't lie, Eli. We don't have glitter in our house. "Someone" smuggled some glitter in the house yesterday to make an Easter craft. I remained calm, but was appalled to find glitter sprinkled down the hall, on the kitchen linoleum, and on ... my face. AARGH.
So, I've decided to start a petition to ban glitter in America's homes. So won't you join me in this effort to protect and preserve the harmony of the family?
1. Topher "Sparkles" Staggs
2. [your name here]
5 Comments:
we made paper easter eggs this morning with GLITTER! I will forever think of you when using glitter- and giggle to myself!
On my wedding day, my best friend sprinkled sparkle hearts in my honeymoon suitcases. Everything we wore on the honeymoon had a sparkle heart (or three) attached. Eleven years later, sparkle hearts are STILL in those suitcases! No amount of vacuuming works...which is good because a little reminder of your honeymoon now and then isn't bad. :)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I was in a production where someone blew a handful of glitter in my eyes. I had to go to the ER.
So, you have proof that glitter is also harmful to your health. ;)
I love glitter, and all things sparkly. I'm like a racoon. And if you start going places with this mission of yours, be warned. I will fight you to the end.
I remember the night that Pops came home about 2:30 a.m. from chaperoning a youth dance. The decorating committee had used something between glitter and sparkles on the tables. It took a looong time to vacuum the church that night!
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